haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
