porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
