they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
