Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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