not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
