remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
