Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
