Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
