i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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