There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
