She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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