I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
