So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
