So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
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