so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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