Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm passing your future prison.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
