i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
