but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This is the high leading the old right now
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
