If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
