we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
