i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
