that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
