i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
