i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
