just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
