I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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