youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
