Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
