apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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