i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
