Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
