Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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