Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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