I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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