# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
