I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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