We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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