I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dignity is for republicans.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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