Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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