I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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