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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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