either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
