im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
