some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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