One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
