I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
