hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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