even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
