I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
