Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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