you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
